Master Your Emotions Under Pressure

I recently found myself in a high-stakes meeting where everything was going sideways. Client expectations unmet, timeline compressed, and tension thick enough to cut with a knife.

My heart raced, my thoughts scattered, and that familiar tightness gripped my chest.

But instead of spiraling, I remembered something that changed everything: emotions, at their biological core, only last about 90 seconds in the body.

This revelation hit me when I first discovered it in neuroscientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor's research. The chemical response triggered by any emotion takes just 90 seconds to flush through your system.

Everything after that? It's you choosing to keep the emotion alive.

What happens in those 90 seconds is fascinating. Your brain identifies a trigger, chemicals release, they surge through your bloodstream, and then – if you allow it – they dissolve.

The physical response ends. Full stop.

The game-changer is learning to ride that 90-second wave without amplifying it. I've discovered three techniques that work consistently in my highest-pressure moments:

1. Box Breathing

When those emotions flood in, I immediately shift to box breathing: inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4, repeat.

I secretly do this when I the other party is speaking so I can prepare myself.

This pattern activates your parasympathetic nervous system – literally switching your body from "fight or flight" to "rest and reset."

What's remarkable is how quickly this interrupts the emotional cascade.

2. Sensory Anchoring

In those 90 seconds, I deliberately engage my senses: naming five things I can see, four I can touch, three I can hear, two I can smell, and one I can taste.

This forces my brain out of emotional reactivity and into present awareness.

The shift is subtle but profound – moving from being consumed by the emotion to simply observing it.

However, I wouldn’t recommend this if it’s a 1-on-1 meeting. You’ll have to focus on the conversation and can’t do this.

3. A Simple Question

When pressure peaks, I ask myself six simple words: "What do I need right now?"

This question creates instant distance between me and the emotional surge. Sometimes I need information, sometimes patience, sometimes courage.

Identifying the specific need transforms vague emotional turbulence into clear, actionable direction.

What fascinates me about emotional regulation is that it's not about suppressing emotions – it's about processing them efficiently.

The most emotionally intelligent people I've studied don't feel less; they metabolize emotions more effectively.

I've found that consistent practice of these techniques doesn't just help in the moment – it actually rewires your default response to pressure.

Each time you navigate an emotional surge without being overtaken by it, you strengthen neural pathways that make future regulation easier.

So the next time you're in a pressure-cooker situation – whether it's a crucial negotiation, a difficult conversation, or a moment of intense uncertainty – remember the 90-second rule.

The emotion will pass if you let it. Your power lies in choosing what happens next.

I'd love to hear which of these techniques resonates most with you, or what strategies you've found effective in your own high-pressure moments.

If you would like to connect on a deeper level, feel free to REPLY to this email and I’ll get in touch with you.

Be unstoppable,

Amos - Founder of The16hourclub